To me, I felt anything but
confidence. I felt anger. I felt fear. I felt hurt. I felt judged. I felt
betrayed. But I didn't feel confidence. Honestly, I did it to prove a point,
and it taught me some valuable lessons. I learned that those judging me were no
better than me. I learned that it was okay to be myself, to be different. I
learned that living outside the box is not only acceptable, but can be very
rewarding. I also learned that I too can have self-confidence.
Now I'm not saying that everyone
needs to go chop off their hair, and dye it crazy colors, in order to build
their confidence. That is just how I learned the lesson in my journey. Aside
from the drastic, I had also learned about the Law of Attraction around that
time, and decided to start with implementing it on my own self-confidence. It
wasn't the easiest thing for me to try to manifest from the start. It took a
lot of focus, and determination. The Law of Attraction tells us that whatever
we focus our energy on, we'll get more of. So, the key is to shift your focus
away from the negativity of self-doubt, and towards the positivity of
self-confidence. Easier said than done, right?
Immersion is the way I learn best, meaning that when I want to learn something new, I tend to hyper-focus on it. This serves me well when implementing the law of attraction. I began by researching how to be more self confident. There is tons of information & advice on the subject that is free, and readily available. Not all of it will work for everyone, but here are ten ways to modify your behavioral patterns & mindset, that helped me become a more confident me.
- Take the time to take care of yourself. Hygiene, exercise, and even getting the proper nutrition that our bodies need to function at their peak, all play an important part in building self-confidence. To me now, this one seems kind of obvious, but once caught in a rut of self-doubt, it's easy to fall into a cycle of not having the confidence to take care of yourself. Each is very important, but they all fall in the category of self-care. There are lots of exercise programs, diets, and supplements available. Some will work, and some won't.
Personally, I have had some amazing results with Thrive by
Le-Vel,
and became a Le-Vel Brand Promoter, because of those life-changing
results.
You can find out more about Thrive by Le-Vel at:
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- Surround yourself with
confident people, and weed out those that bring your confidence down. That doesn't mean you have
to change jobs, cut people off or spend most of your time in the
physical presence of confident people. Set boundaries with the negative
people who hurt your self-confidence. Start limiting your contact with
them. Unfollow them on social media sites. Instead, find confident
people who inspire you to follow. In this day & age, there are many
ways to surround yourself with positivity. Following uplifting social
media pages or blogs, watching motivating videos on Youtube, or even reading
books can be ways of bringing more confident people into your life.
- Think positively. When self-doubt & negativity arise, acknowledge how you feel, question it realistically, and then shift your focus to the positive side of things. Don't try to gloss over negative feelings, and pretend like nothing is wrong. We have these feelings for a reason. Learn from them, and then give thanks for the lesson learned. Using positive affirmations consistently can help change your mindset. These are some that helped me:
•
I AM confident by nature, as my authentic self!
•
I AM confident in my abilities, and it shows!
•
I AM getting better & better every day, in every way!
•
I love myself exactly as I AM!
- Identify your strengths &
achievements, and then celebrate them. We all have strengths & weaknesses. We all have
achievements & failures. Focus your energy on the positive by
celebrating them, and you will have more to celebrate about in the
future.
- Learn to trust your own
instincts again, by building your intuition. Nothing helps self-doubt
grow faster than not being able to trust yourself. Whether it was a
gradual progression of bad decisions or a sudden trauma that led to the
lack of trust in your own abilities & decision making skills, this
can keep you stuck in a rut for as long as you let it. Start small. Go
with your gut, and remember that everything happens for a reason. Even
if it appears like you made a bad decision, the universe/God always has
your back. Who's to say that things would have went better had your
decision been different?
- Start setting goals, and then
do what it takes to achieve them. Educate yourself, get the tools you need in place,
and then practice. Practice over & over & over again. Practice,
practice, practice... Repetition, repetition, repetition... Professional
athletes & musicians don't gain the confidence to perform under
pressure by wishing & hoping they could. They practice repeatedly
over & over & over again. The more you practice, the better you
will get, and the more confidence you will have in your own abilities to
achieve your goals.
- Fake it 'til you make it. It sounds so cliche, but it
works. What you put out into the world is what you get back, so carrying
yourself with confidence will give you more self-confidence. I heard a
TED Talk, featuring Amy Cuddy once, and she said that her research
showed that when people take a power stance (like a super-hero pose) for
just two minutes, it raised their self-confidence. Imagine what it could
do if you carried yourself with more confidence all the time. So, hold
your head up high, lift your shoulders, and smile your way to a more
confident you.
- Always do your best. Knowing that you did your
best can help keep self-doubt from creeping in. And when you do fail,
which we all are bound to do at times, go easy on yourself. Don't beat
yourself up. You did your best, and that is all anyone should expect
from you.
- Let go of your fear of
failure. As human beings, we all make
mistakes. We have all failed at something. It's going to happen. Just
don't give up. Many of those considered to be the greats throughout
history failed repeatedly, before finally achieving success.
- Helping others build their
self-confidence is a rewarding way to build your own. Random acts of kindness,
giving sincere compliments, being supportive or simply hearing someone
out, and providing constructive criticism can all be ways of helping
someone else build confidence. Be careful to make sure the criticism is
constructive & positive though. Too much negative criticism can tear
down a person's confidence.
• Reiki is my favorite of
them. It's a method of energy healing that works with the chakra (aura). Three
of the seven chakras affect self-confidence, and they are:
- The Root Chakra – Gives you a solid foundation, keeping you grounded in
reality. It also provides you with a sense of security, and the confidence
to trust your instincts.
- The Solar Plexus Chakra – Gives you a strong sense of who you are. It's where
your gut feelings come from. It helps build your intuition, positive will
power, and the confidence to follow through.
- The Throat Chakra – Gives you the ability & confidence to express yourself through communication. It also helps you trust your intuition.
Clearing any energy blocks in these
chakras can greatly effect your self-confidence in a positive way.
• Using certain Essential Oils
can help clear the chakras, and give self-confidence, Bergamot, Cassia
Lavender, Pine, Roman Chamomile, Spearmint, and Citrus Blends can all help
build confidence, each in their own way. Be sure to check with the manufacturer
on how to use it, since some oils aren't safe for consumption or topical use.
Those can usually be diffused into the air.
I use DoTerra Essential Oils, and have had great results,
so decided to become a DoTerra Wellness Advocate.
You can find out more about
DoTerra Essential Oils at:
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• Another alternative method to
healing your confidence is with Crystals. Just having certain gemstones
in the room with you or on your person can draw out negativity, clear energy
blocks, and build self-confidence. Agate, Citrine, Fluorite, Garnet, Hematite,
and Peridot are just a few of the many stones that help with confidence. You
can also use the crystals to clear the chakras. Just match the color of the
stone with the appropriate chakra color. Place the gemstone on the chakra for
15 minutes to start with. You can work your way up to longer sessions, but be
sure to keep it under an hour. This can be done twice a day.
Combine the crystals & oils with
Reiki for a very powerful confidence building session.
There are many, many more ways to
build self-confidence. These are just the ones that made a noticeable
difference for me. Try out the ones that resonate with you, and let me know how
it goes.
